In my case, my wife had to change rite from Western to Eastern Catholic. If she had not been willing, I would not have married her.
It's sometimes difficult to express to single young folks just how difficult it is to keep marriages together in modern society, AND then it's even more difficult to have a Christ-centered family life on top of that. Any differences in belief will make for a difficult challenge Which, ironically, works pretty well in this world, not so much in the next. Well, I refused to compromise on a wife even though it took me from the time I was 19 yes, I was looking that young!
The key is to put God's will first in your life. Although I would have been devastated had I not married, if it were God's will, what else can I do but submit to His will? Jumping into a marriage with someone who I would be "unequally yoked" to would have ended in heartache for both of us.
It's a tough lesson, but our desires have to be subordinated to God's will.
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Pray, pray fervently, pray with perseverance for a holy husband and, if God so desires, you are guaranteed that in the right time and right fashion it will become apparent. In the meantime, I recommend dedicating yourself to zealous deeds: Doing so will also increase your chances of finding a like-minded individual, so it's a little self-serving but I think God understands. Cursed be he that doeth the work of the LORD deceitfully, and cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood.
I just think it's imprudent. It's not a condemnation of the person but just a frank reality that dating should be for marriage. And I wouldn't marry someone of a different faith because it tends to lead to indifferentism, usually on both parties' parts. After all, a passionate Catholic married to a passionate Orthodox Will they see one parent as a heretic? If not, how do you handle the truth without watering it down? What about fasting and feasting days?
Will children follow the Christmas Fast with the mother or ignore it and eat meat throughout with the Father? I find this to be a depressing subject to think about. As a single guy in his mid 20s who's considering possible conversion to Orthodoxy, it seems that the chances of finding a like minded girl my age is pretty low.
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I live in the south, where Orthodoxy is pretty rare. God loves us, and if we seek first the kingdom of God, He will give us all the other things we need. Theodoret of Cyrrhus, pray for us! The reason…well, you can figure that one out pretty easily. Based on this rule called Yichud, in hebrew , dating should preferably be conducted in a public place.
You're Not Crazy: The Orthodox Dating Process
Hurray for dinner dates! It could be a picnic in a public park or even a stroll around town. It shows great respect and trust in another to take the leap to ask them out or share any part of yourself with them including your likes, dislikes, and even your differences and conflicting opinions you have from theirs. She will see your honesty as a sign of respect of her, that you value her and wish to be real with her.
This is the kind of love that is reflected in Christ's love for his bridegroom. Selfless, not concerned with whether we love Him or not, but he is honest, loving, and always there for us if we so will it. But, he respects our freedom. This act of telling her is putting the ball in her court, and letting her freely choose.
Without it, you are not free nor are you being honest.
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Don't mean to sound like an advice-giving parent. I hate how "when i was your age"-ish this sounds. This is a struggle I have gone through with my own husband, from the beginning. And even after nearly 2 years of marriage, I still find it hard to not try to worry about what he thinks of me. When I do worry, I sound wishy-washy, and he finds that very unattractive and I don't blame him! And it is my true, honest self he loves. When I'm worried about what I think he wants me to be, I usually just turn into a ball of anxiety and my true self, whom he loves, is lost.
With that said, she needs to see you for who you are. Being all worried about this probably makes you seem nervous, too, which especially in a guy is unattractive. Be confident, be yourself, own up to your feelings, and take the leap! It's soooo worth it, no matter what direction it goes. Oh to be young and infatuated!
I love my wife a great deal and would never want to go back to anything like that, but I am fond of the memories those romantic feelings mostly anxiety haha bring to mind. If you ask her out and you date her and you discover you actually like her and then that you actually love her and then decide to marry her and then marry her and then have kids and then watch your kids grow up and spend all those years together She is a person just like you.
She has her problems. She smells bad sometimes. She is selfish sometimes. And she is going to get old and die. Don't put her on a pedestal like this when you don't even really know her. You have a LONG way to go before you can reasonably do that. I mean, I put my wife on a pedestal, but that's because she is beautiful and loving and better than me in every way. I know this for certain after a decade together.
But you don't really even know this girl yet! Go tell her you want to take her out on a date and that you want to get to know her ;. Catholic sister in Christ here. Some of her behaviors sound like how I acted around my husband before he asked me out. And actually at the same time I was avoiding somebody else's interest - I'd avoid any opportunity to be one on one, I'd look to keep conversations short via awkward pauses and looking around for somebody else to talk to.
Thought you might appreciate my examples! Like I said, I acted similarly when I was interested in my husband. Best of luck to you!
Jewish Dating Advice
I've purposely tried to test her at times. If we are standing next to each other in church, I'll move a little closer to see if she moves away, and she hasn't so far. If she is a shy girl who doesn't want to draw attention to herself she won't move away from you when you move closer even if that's what she wants. I mean, how would it look, you move closer, and then she moves away.
And doing this in front of the church during a service. You don't see how that could be embarrassing for both of you? Just be nice to her, talk to her, if you think she likes you and you like her, then ask her out, don't play mind games. And also these games shouldn't be played in church services, if that's the context, whether or not she's into it. I know it's hard, but there's somebody else out there for you.